Well, yesterday was my birthday. For those who don’t know me, here’s a fun fact. I hate my birthday. I hate the thought of getting older. And I loathe being the center of attention. Although, I do like cake. So you can’t call me a total grouch.
For the past couple of weeks I have been reevaluating some things. I feel like a change is coming in my life. Have you ever felt like that? Like being on the beach when a storm is rolling in. It’s in the air. You can feel the electricity. Smell the charge. The colors change and for a few brief minutes, things look completely different. And then it happens.
Now, I’m not saying a storm is coming. Just change. Something new. Sometimes things just change and you have no control over it. Sometimes they change because you’ve made them change.
I’ll be the first to admit, I am as stubborn a Taurus as they come. I tend to just not listen to you if I don’t agree with what you’re saying. My husband knows this all too well. He gets very aggravated with me and for good reason. I imagine it can be very frustrating.
One thing we have been discussing lately is change. Specifically structure, schedules and organization. Mind you, these are the conversations I am talking about that he can see I have dug my feet in the sand and am not hearing a word he has said. He is a saint I tell you. I’d punch me.
Well, I hope he is reading this because I have heard him and even though it is making me want to gag, I want to say “He’s right”. Yup, there I said it. HE’S RIGHT!
I’m sure you’ve heard it said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results”. And for the past couple of years I feel like I have been running in circles. I miss deadlines, forget appointments, misplace items and race to be on time. Yet instead of making changes I complain about how things are and how things have to change, not I have to change of course, but “things”. Am I alone in this? I’ll go out on a limb and say no.
In case you missed the memo. We live in a busy world. Families to take care of, jobs to do, homes to care for. I always ask myself “How do people do it?”. Nannies, chauffeurs, housekeepers and lots of money. That’s what I come up with. In reality I would venture to say that it is all about organization and teamwork. Sadly, organization is not something I am naturally gifted with. I know this. I admit it. For years I have said “I work better under pressure”. That is the mantra of a disorganized person. We convince ourselves we function better under stress because that is what we know.
Maybe it is because I am so wise (I did just have a birthday you know) or maybe it’s that I am completely sick and tired of all the stress I feel lately, but this is where the change is going to start with me. It has to or there will be no growth and everything stays the same.
I was ready to stop writing here. I went back and forth. It was becoming a burden. I keep saying “I have no time!” Truth is, I need to find wasted time. So for the next week I am going to see where my time is going. If I don’t know where the waste is, I can’t cut it out, right? Have you ever gone onto the internet “just to find a quick (fill in the blank here) and 2 hours later your eyeballs have dried out and you wonder where the time went? That happens to me all the time! Thank you Pinterest.
I am also looking at tweaking my format here. It’s funny because even my blog name came about because of all the disorganization in my life. That should have told me something right off the bat. I have been blogging for 4 years now. I can’t believe it. It has no way morphed into what I had dreamed it would, but once again I have not made any changes to allow that to happen. So please stay tuned while I restructure my life.
Oh, and by the way, in case you’re wondering. I made a cake and we ate it. I’ll share later though I promise!