The similarities to being born are uncanny.

Think about it. One minute you’re in a dark, warm, comfy place then all of a sudden you’re being thrust out into the cold, hard world.

My morning routine typically starts with the morning breath of a lively little 8 year old, 2 inches from my face, poking me in the arm and informing me that I need to  “get my stick”.  The stick she is referring to would be the plunger.

Nothing makes my husband laugh harder than the phrase “Mom! Get your stick!”. He could be in a sound sleep and that will still cause him to chuckle. He’s a sick, sick man that husband of mine.

Next, it’s time to get the kiddos their breakfast. I’m big on breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day, you know.

Usually I make pancakes or waffles. Sometimes scrambled eggs and toast or an English muffin and jam. Cereal is dinner in our house. We’re a little backward. I know. This morning I used flour instead of pancake mix. Even fresh maple syrup couldn’t help those things.

Now mind you, while I am making breakfast I am typically dodging dry erase markers that are being hurled at me by an extremely irritable, hungry, impatient cat. This will continue until he is out of markers. Then he moves on to either destruction of property or aggravated assault, which may or may not include biting my calf or slapping me (claws out) as I walk by, just to let me know he means business.

I love my cat.

At that point I’ll feed him so he’ll leave me alone and I won’t have to kill him. But he’ll eat so fast that he throws up. Usually on a carpet somewhere. The house is 99% hardwood floors, yet he will find the one, small carpeted area in the house to vomit on. Did I mention how much I love my cat?

Then carpool. A couple of us parents take turns driving the kids to school. So some mornings I have to load everyone up and head out around 7:15. Andrew is good about not complaining that I drive him and his friends to school in my pajamas. Smart too. Wisecracks will only get them a personal escort to class.

Back home for the next phase. Getting Nina and I ready to go.

Nina, “Miss Independent” is great about getting herself ready for the day.  She’ll put her lunch and snacks together, get dressed, do her hair and still have time to watch some Sponge Bob before the bus comes at 8:20.

I do have to keep an eye on her though. Today’s lunch consisted of cookies, leftover Halloween candy (I still can’t find her stash), pepperoni, Doritos and a jelly jar of apple juice. I love that girl. She tries. I’ll give her that. This demands a remake or I may receive a call from school nurse to educate me on the importance of good nutrition.

When it’s time to head outside for the bus, I usually send the dog with her to wait so I can get myself together. My dog Bailey reminds me of “Nana” from Peter Pan. She would never let a stranger enter the yard. Ever! You can ask the UPS man. He’ll tell ya. If he ever dares to come back.

I get my breakfast, lunch and snack together while still keeping one eye out the window to make sure that there are no shenanigans going on outside. I make a tea, a coffee and fill my water jug to bring to work. I may be part camel. This morning I pushed the button on the Keurig and realized I had forgotten to put the cup under the spout.

“What the insert curse word here!”

Ever done that? There really should be a sensor of some sort. Keurig, if you’re listening, can you maybe incorporate that on your next model? I’d really appreciate it.


But, oh joy, now I get to go to work. That makes waking up to all this totally worth it. Someone needs to come up with a font called “Sarcasm“. Just sayin.

What’s your morning routine like? Do you get things ready the night before or do you live on the edge like me? I’d love to hear.


About Cluttercafe

Wife to a great guy. Mom to two active, wonderful kids. Full time working woman trying to keep it all together.
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